Spice of Life: Coming to terms with losses in book of life

Life is a delicate balance between gain and loss. Quite unexpectedly, it throws a curveball at you and you’re left with nothing but a sense of loss and a pall of gloom enfolding you into its abysmal darkness. At other times, you receive a totally unpredictable windfall that makes you wonder if you actually deserve it.

The loss of a loved one or a dear friend, perhaps, ranks highest in the inventory of losses. A permanent loss owing to the death of someone dear leads to bereavement and a feeling of helplessness, whereas losing a friend or a loved one due to inexplicable circumstances or some misunderstanding leaves you not only confounded but also disoriented. You look for plausible answers where there are none as also logic behind the entire scenario.

What did I do wrong? Where did I go wrong? Who was at fault? Could the situation be any different had I not acted in a certain way? Such questions plague your mind, especially when you have envisioned a long-term friendship or relationship with someone.

As I sat in a pensive mood, cogitating and mulling over such questions, one day, the answer to these, fell into my lap like the apple on Newton’s head. Or, as Archimedes would have put it, it was my ‘Eureka’ moment. The remedy came to me in the form of a forwarded message.

“Sometimes the people you wanted as a part of your story are only meant to be a chapter.”

The quote by some unknown, yet astute author/philosopher not only seemed meaningful to my uneasy mind but also extremely consoling and better than those cliché remedies offered by the worldly wise. My heart and soul experienced immediate sagacity and extreme peace as my mind and brain comprehended the message. The forty thieves of my perturbed being unlocked the hidden treasure of the serene space by uttering the magical words, “Khuljaa Sim Sim”.

The book of life is full of stories with a multitude of characters playing numerous roles. From an existential point of view, we are all characters playing our part. We have no say, whatsoever, in the selection of the dramatis personae or the extent of their roles. Some characters stay with us till the end of our story book, while some whom we expect to be there have to beat a hasty retreat.

Similarly, the presence of some characters in our lives is as ephemeral as a sentence. Some short and crisp, while others complex and convoluted. The complex and convoluted ones often leave us angst-ridden for we had not anticipated their difficult existence and hurried exit. The most agonising part being that despite your best efforts, you cannot continue it after ‘the period’. Relationships are, more or less, like complex sentences.

The philosophy, through abstract and vague, gives a meaningful explanation about why some relations work, while others fail. A deep insight dawned upon me as I reflected upon the statement and a deeper composure soothed my uncertainties. In the book of life, I tried hard to write multiple stories. Little did I realise that not all were worthy of being stories, some were only meant to be chapters, paragraphs or even sentences. As I accepted the fact, my heart let go of all grudges it held against those who made a mid-way exit. sonrok15@gmail.com

The writer is associate professor, English, SD College, Ambala Cantt